


Rain On Me

by rane_ab



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Canon, First Time, M/M, Mind Control
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:27:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 743
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/424871
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rane_ab/pseuds/rane_ab
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Merlin wakes up after three months of mind control, everything seems the same - at first. (Set after S1.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Rain On Me

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2009 [Summer Pornathon](http://summerpornathon.livejournal.com), in reply to the first time challenge. 
> 
> Warning for mind control.

When the spell lifts, Merlin takes what seems like his first breath in a very long time. 

It takes a little longer for his limbs to feel like his own again, and the world tilts around him when he stands up.

~

Gaius figures out he lost over three months.

Three months.

And no one noticed.

~

He doesn’t (want to?) remember.

He remembers Nimueh – not dead, fuck, he wants to kill her all over again, make it hurt this time, drag it out – remembers the agony in his head, scorching hooks sinking in, fire travelling by blood, down, down, burning all the way to his toes as the spell took hold.

_Oh, Merlin, you are going to bring Arthur Pendragon right down to his knees._

and 

_We’ll rule the world together after all, you and I._

and

_I have feeling that for you, he will crawl._

~

The first time he sees Arthur again, after, there’s a funny taste in Merlin’s mouth; he keeps swallowing. Arthur’s sitting next to his father, looking healthy, if supremely bored and annoyed. So, of course, he ends up sending Merlin on the most ridiculous errands, like the insufferable fucking prat Merlin knows he is.

~

Arthur claps him on the back, says,

‘Well, I can honestly say that was the most pathetic performance I have ever had the pleasure to witness. Well done, Merlin.’

and doesn’t take his hand away.

Merlin’s throat hurts; it’s all he can do not to hit the crossbow over Arthur’s head.

~

Merlin dreams of Ealdor. He dreams of wide open fields, of his mother and Will and, somehow, the pig’s trough. If he dreams of Arthur, too, of things that would never happen between them, well, dreams are funny that way.

~

The first time Arthur rests both his hands on Merlin’s hips, he’s so shocked he lets Arthur lick the corner of his mouth. His hands come up to push Arthur away, mouth brimming with a horrified _No_ , when Arthur pulls back and smiles at him, eyes bright.

And it’s, it’s open and trusting, familiar and – _happy?_ – and there’s a knock at the door. 

Arthur’s face shutters, and Merlin tries to breathe again. 

~

Merlin finds one hundred and fifty three tiny holes in his ceiling, but not a single sentence to explain what happened to Arthur without destroying everything between them.

~

The armoury wall feels cold against his cheek, but it’s nothing compared to the heat of Arthur all the way down his back. His mind is scrambling for an excuse, quick, anything, and Arthur says lightly, ‘Are you all right?’ before nuzzling into the side of Merlin’s neck and – what the hell? – biting gently along Merlin’s ear.

‘Where were you this morning?’

‘I. The king. The king asked me to – Yeah. Sorry.’ 

And he gets the hell out of there.

~

Merlin’s skin itches all over; he wonders if this is what it feels like to be helpless. He thinks he might be losing his mind. He has more strange dreams, too, and when he wakes up to find his sheets stained, he blushes and seriously considers running away.

~

On the third day, Arthur walks into his chambers and says:

‘Merlin, get this stain out of my jacket, would you? It seems there _are_ servants who are clumsier than you.’

‘Just put it in the laundry pile, sire, I’ll see to it.’

‘No, I mean, _now_. Hurry up, would you, I need to get back.’

Merlin stares.

‘Well?’

After, his hand shakes, and when Arthur leans in, he flinches, expects a fist to follow. But Arthur, Arthur presses soft lips to his, pulls him in, and just. Kisses him, gentle and hot and _accepting_ , lapping at Merlin’s mouth like he knows all its secrets, and.

Merlin can’t bring himself to push him away.

~

It starts pouring that afternoon. Merlin expects the drops to feel cold on his skin, but they’re tepid, at best, and he stops, tilts his head, and lets them drench him.

~

This is what Merlin will always remember as their first time:

Arthur licking the back of his neck, comfortable, wanting, hands warm on Merlin’s belly. And when he kisses him, Merlin trembles a little, but lets the kiss stretch until it’s too late to say  
no.

Arthur on his back, one thumb pressed to the corner of Merlin’s mouth, _Fuck, yeah, Merlin, please_.

Arthur’s eyes, half-lidded, looking at Merlin like he’s the only thing in the world.

Merlin thinking, _OK._

_OK._


End file.
